#3. make a new friend

If you recall, a few weeks ago I wrote a blog post about the difficulties I was having with making new friends in my new-ish city. I’m glad I wrote it because for the longest time, I thought I was some sort of loser or weirdo for not being able to dive into the social scene and cultivate a brand new group of friends instantaneously. A lot of people reached out and shared similar stories of how challenging it can be to make new friends after college, especially when in a new city (and some in a new country! I can’t even imagine.)

With the holidays approaching and overhearing everyone talk about their “super-awesome-uber-epic” New Year’s Eve plans, from flying to Miami to dancing the night away in New York City, I felt like a total dud because Mike and I didn’t really have anyone to ring in the new year with besides each other thanks to being broke and not really knowing anyone in the area. I threw a pretty decent pity party for myself for a solid day or two, cake and confetti included, as I whined that making new friends shouldn’t be this hard.

Call it an act of ultimate desperation, but I jokingly went on to Craigslist and told Mike I was going to find my “new best friend,” knowing that I’d probably just end up having a good laugh at the usual crazies that post listings about “lady friends into Sailor Moon and anime who are into lady kisses just 4 fun timez.”

I went through about 10 – 12 of those kinds of listings… reading them out loud to Mike as we laughed that at least we weren’t THAT weird. That’s when I clicked on the last post before closing up shop for the night. Something about being embarrassed to use Craigslist (hey, me too), loving wine, blogging, attempting to cook, cats, a love for Philly, studying in Paris, etc., etc. It was weird. It sounded like I had wrote the post myself with everything we had in common. So, I swallowed my Craigslist pride and sent a response email. The worst that could happen? I wouldn’t hear back and I’d pretend it had never happened.

The ultimate boozy brunch experience: bottomless bellini bar

The ultimate boozy brunch experience: bottomless Bellini bar.

But I did hear back. And after emailing a few times, we met for brunch.  And it was awesome. Between great conversation, a never-ending flow of champagne and shamelessly taking pictures of each other’s food, it was a perfect Saturday afternoon. If you haven’t checked out Urbana’s bottomless Bellini bar yet… GO! The food is okay… but let’s be honest, people brunch for the booze, not the food.

Pumpkin spice waffle with apple butter and peach bellini.

Pumpkin spice waffle with apple butter and peach Bellini.

On Friday I’m hosting my first dinner party down here with my very, very small, albeit great group of new friends. Slowly but surely, this new city is starting to feel like home. It goes to show you that anything is possible, if you have the courage to step outside of your comfort zone and put yourself out there.


12 responses to “#3. make a new friend

  1. So proud of you! And if anyone’s wondering, this girl is one amazing friend and a great person to have in your corner!

  2. Good for you for doing something about it! I’m still trying to muster up the nerve 🙂

  3. Surprisingly, I met the love of my life on craigslist 5 years ago, in the strictly platonic section. Clearly, we didn’t keep it strictly platonic. LOL! Initially, I was just thankful he wasn’t a serial killer.

    I also started an online social network called PlusWho to help women make and meet TRULY PLATONIC, like-minded female friends, offline in their area. Sorry, we can’t help Mike, but I hope you’ll check it out.

  4. I’m having the same problem (in the same city). I’ve decided to sit in a coffeehouse in my neighborhood and force myself to talk to at least one person at length. My first attempt lead to a great conversation, but I realized the next step…initiating future contact…awkward!

    • I know exactly what you’re going through! I’ve talked to several great people while out in DC, but have never found the perfect way to go to the next step and ask for their contact information without it being awkward. Sometimes you just have to check your pride at the door and take that next step, even if it seems scary! If you’re in the area though, we should try to meet up for coffee sometime!

  5. Pingback: Fulfilling My Purpose: 8 Blogs For Ambitious Young Professionals « Veranda Lane Success Blog

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